We shall burn bright

I met him, and for a lack of a better word,
it was fantastic.
We talked, or he did,
and i haven't felt that safe and good around anyone for so long.
I can still smell him, taste his lips.
It was not a good idea, and now three endless seeming days later i know it. More than anything would i just want to be with you.
I'm so very, very sorry darling. You should've never fallen in love with me.
And it was naive for us to think that we could go through it with out a change-
I didn't cry in the train, all i felt then was happiness and love, and i fell asleep watching fleeting fields, sheep and lambs.
Now the actual physical pain that i felt has settled into a lump to my lower abdomen, and the chrushing emptyness grows in size every time my mind makes me think of you.
It feels like my heart has been torn of my chest, put into a blender and fed to fish that have now been eaten by bigger fish.
I know it's not possible, i knew it the whole time. I feel so horrible for making you go through this, it would be fine if it has just been me.
I still can't stop thinking about how to make it work, how to have you.
Plan how to get you close.
But it's wrong time, wrong place, but i don't want to give up.
I don't want you to stop loving me, but i know you have to.
I will plan something out.
I need a happy ending.